Heart Flow & Relationships
May 2002

Marriage, a permanent relationship, is a union of two persons (sometimes including their souls) on many levels of their being and consciousness. People marry for many reasons – love, convenience, financial support, sex, children, prestige, personal security and more.

Most people would marry out of what they believe is love, and dream of everlasting love, romance and a wish to share a physical and intimate life with another person, hoping that the marriage will last a lifetime.

A marriage may last a lifetime, but it seldom does these days. The reasons for this are many: ​

change of personal taste in a partner, attractions waning, change of personality traits in a partner, hitherto unobserved sides surfacing which may have disturbing effects upon the marriage, jealousy of the partner’s professional success, jealousy of the partner’s social life and interests, anger and frustration at the partner not taking sufficient responsibilities with the upbringing of children or work around the home, lack of income, lack of concern and interest in the interests and hobbies of the partner, religious differences, great differences in intelligence and education, irritation and annoyance about tidiness or lack thereof, irritation at small characteristics and behaviours or mannerisms of the partner, developing into real anger fits with time, sadness when the partner drinks too much alcohol and slowly self-destructs and starts beating up his/her partner and/or the children, or the partner drinking him- or herself into slovenness and apparent lethargy, not being able to take care of children nor work, eating disorders, drug addictions, addiction to sex outside of marriage, strange behaviour due to deviant sexual practices, diseases and mental disorders, low self-esteem, emotional hangups and more. 

​The list is long.

How to bring Heart Flow into an unstable marriage relationship

The first thing is communication. If two partners in a relationship cannot speak about the challenges that occur over time, the relationship will absolutely break down.

If two partners cannot share their daily worries with each other, there is no foundation stone to build a future relationship upon.

Communication is more important than sexual intimacy, for communication opens the door to each other’s feelings and thoughts, which furthers a deep and lasting friendship, which may become a wonderful, also intimate relationship. Communication leads to freeing suppressed emotions, and letting the self experience the release of those emotions will invariably bring more love into the self and from the self into the partner.

At least if separation occurs, then the separation will be amicable, and friendship may last the whole lifetime and into further lifetimes, too.

Communication between two partners is worth more than each partner going to separate counselling/therapy, because they know best what their problems are and they can choose to mend the issues at stake or choose to leave each other in as friendly a way as possible. In cases of unfaithfulness, this also can be talked over and a new relationship take the place of the old stagnated one with the same partner, or a new partner if the old relationship cannot continue.

It is good to get advice from counsellors, but you have to make your own choice in the end.

Opening to Heart Flow in a relationship means using the flow to forgive and to repair wherever it is possible to do so. Resentment and violent emotions bring dire consequences into relationships of all kinds. Love is eternal in its strength and endurance through time. Where there is true love, there are good intentions, and the partners will turn bad habits into good habits for each other, endeavouring to polish their personalities to better live together in peace and harmony. It is called sacrificing parts of one’s little self to keep the love alive and burning like an inner furnace in the heart.

A good marriage or any sound partnership between two lovers is based upon trust, love, and physical attraction. Without these three qualities, the marriage cannot be sustained. No matter whether the couple are old or young, ill or well, materially successful or poor, the three qualities must be present or the marriage will not be a marriage, but a relationship that is no marriage. In a good marriage, minds meet and bodies meet, and in some cases, souls also meet. Marrying for any other reason than because of trust, love and physical attraction does not give a true marriage, but a hollow one, a convenient one perhaps, but not a good one. When either trust, love or physical attraction is missing in the marriage, there is no foundation for a lasting good marriage. Duty towards the children or towards the partner may carry it, but only for a short time, or the marriage will be very unhappy and dissatisfactory. 

In some religious groups, divorce is forbidden. Such people may be very unhappy, but have to remain together without being truly together, and serious emotional traumas arise which make the consequent life or lives emotionally disturbed.

Life on Earth can be loving and not hating or anguished. Two partners who experience true love, if only for a short time, have a more rewarding life than those who do not, for they have felt the beauty of true love.

When you wish to bring Heart Flow into your marriage, then you should envelop your partner daily in rose Heart Flow light and see both your inner lights merge as one light, one heart.

It is worthwhile to put energy and effort into one’s marriage, for the closeness and the support such a marriage gives to each partner sustains the couple in all life’s many experiences, some of which may prove to be very challenging.

Keep the flame in the heart burning. Show your love to your partner daily. Dare to be romantic, fiery and passionate when the situation calls for it. Defend and protect your loved one against the darkness in the world, which appears in many shapes and ways.

Talk about your worries as well as your joys without being afraid or holding back. If there is fear, there is lack of love, and this might be looked into with opening up to each other in conversations of the heart.

Some marriages are what I term karmic marriages, which means that two people come together for a short time to work through mutual past life patterns. These marriages are not lasting, due to the past patterns being so traumatic that they cannot be worked out in one embodiment. It is not that all marriages are not karmic; I just use that term for marriages built upon past life relationships that were painful and created suffering for the two persons involved, and where these unresolved issues take more time to resolve than one lifetime, as they still cause upheavals and confusion in the couple.

These karmic marriages see the couple falling in love, but the feeling does not last long. Often after some months or a few years of marriage, the 'love' disappears as quickly as it came, and we often see enmity take its place. The enmity is the enmity from past lives resurfacing due to strained feelings that are usually not understood.

If counsellors were also soul clairvoyants, then they would be able to help clarify a number of misunderstood issues, and at least the couple would come to understand why the love did not last and could at least, if they wish to divorce, separate on friendly terms.

Human beings are searching for love and the right partner, and occasionally the right partner will come along, although not in every life. Why? Because of karmic conditions created by the individual him- or herself.

To find the right partner involves many lives of commitment and devotion to your partner. To find the right partner depends upon how much you have given of love to past partners and how you have given of yourself to worthy causes in past lives and present life. For the two connect. The reward from the Light is that if you have worked unselfishly for a number of lives, then you reap the good that you have sown in gifts of Spirit, which includes a fine partner.

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